Peanuts

A group of peanuts ready their assault on America.

Felicitations friends,

You are probably thinking that I've lost my mind today. Americans don't fear peanuts! That would be ludicrous! I know you are thinking that my friends but it is as true as anything I've ever written. Peanuts (and other nuts) scare the hell out of Americans.

Humans can eat nearly anything that was alive at some time itself. We can even tolerate things that are overtly poisonous in small amounts. given enough opportunities to have small amounts of a poison and out bodies adapt. This is a small part of how our immune systems works. Allergens are no exception. As a child I had an allergy to cow's milk. This is not a rare allergy, but I did not care. I loved milk and I would sneak a drink whenever I could. The side effect for me was immediate projectile vomiting. Delicious fun!

After a while, however, my allergy decreased and I can often be seen drinking milk, lattes, cream or whatever I can get from the teat of a cow. Nom nom nom! Now those crazy doctors and biologists are saying the same thing about nut allergies. They have recently surmised that by purposefully taking small amounts of nuts, the allergenic effects will be reduced (SEE YOUR DOCTOR BEFORE TRYING THIS). Others say that rather than the allergy lessening, it will get worse with old age and increasingly worse as exposure to the allergen is repeated!

Oh no, my brothers! How bad can it get? It can get VERY bad if you trust the hundreds of websites devoted to allergies. It is said that just the SMELL of a peanut can send an allergy victim into anaphylactic shock. This kind of severe reaction would involve swelling of all sorts of things, but most importantly the throat. The victim of this severe variety of anaphylaxis would be unable to breath and ultimately die. What is worst of all my brothers is that there is no known remedy for peanut allergies.

Why is this an irrational fear, you ask? Because no one dies of anaphylactic shock. The CDC reports that there are about 150 deaths in the United States annually due to food allergies. To put that in perspective, it is hundreds of times more dangerous to get into an automobile to get treated for a food allergy than it is to wait and see what happens. Also keep in mind that this is a figure for all food allergies combined including shellfish, strawberries and other popular allergies.

While the CDC has alarming statistics as to the number of food allergies in the United States, the death toll does not come close to matching the hysteria. No my friends, you will not be killed by peanuts, fear them though you will.

Your friend and disperser of fear,
Sir Robyn

P.S. Please allow me to offer my heartfelt condolences to the anyone out there that have actually suffered a loss to this rare circumstance.

References:

• The CDC fears peanuts - http://www.cdc.gov/media/pressrel/2008/r081022.htm
• New reasons to fear airline food - http://www.foodallergy.org/Advocacy/airlines.html
• Peanuts join forces with salmonella - http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28749159/