Identity Thieves

The Talented Mr. Ripley about to get all of Jude Law's credit cards!

Friends! And you are my friends,

Let me tell you about life in America. If you turn on the TV at any given time of the day or night, you will see a guy in a pirate hat singing about identity theft. The pirate in this case is a person who, for a tidy sum, will charge Americans all kinds of money for services they are probably already receiving.

OK to begin, my friends and readers, let me tell you what identity theft is not. Matt Damon will not come to your house, dress like you and try to assume your life while simultaneously planning to kill you and dispose of your body. If you are a woman with features Matt Damon could not hope to duplicate, perhaps you are worried that a roommate might plan a similar caper, such as that seen in the movie Single White Female. In simple terms, that is Hollywood. In reality, and I don't know who you are, but I do know that no one wants to be like you for even a minute.

The most common form of identity theft is when unauthorized persons obtain and illegally use your credit card(s) to make purchases. Credit cards companies are liable for fraudulent transactions and they do their best to discourage this kind of theft. As a consumer, all one needs do upon discovering a credit card charge that they didn't make is to inform the credit card company and the charge will be removed.

Credit card companies are savvy corporate beasts who don't like to be cheated. They will monitor the use of their cards by the owners and will flag (or refuse) unusual expenditures, such as the type an identity thief might make. In other words, this type of identity theft is VERY unlikely to cause a credit card holder any grief.

Other forms of fraud exist where a person's identity might be borrowed. For example an illegal immigrant might use a fake Social Security Number (SSN) to get a job. While this exceptionally rare form of identity theft is closer to the Mr. Ripley model, it is not intended to harm the actual owner of the SSN.

All the meanwhile, Americans are spending money by the bucketful to further protect themselves from a Mr. Ripley-style bogeymen that they are already well protected from. The Hollywood variety of identity thieves simply do not exist. They say you can't be too protected. I say you can if you have to pay for each ridiculous level of protection.

Be safe my brothers and sisters,
Sir Robyn