"It's so hard to get laid with kitten breath... but what the hell?" - Colonel Binky (a pit bull)
Oh my brothers,
A dilemma confronts me for this entry. You see this entry breaks my own rules somewhat in that Americans are not the only nation to fear pit bulls. Secondly, this nasty-ass breed of dog really does have a habit of biting the hand (or face) that feeds it, making it a less than irrational fear.
The latter of the two broken rules rests with the American Center for Disease Control (CDC), who reported that in 2006, more than 31,000 people underwent reconstructive surgery as a result of being bitten by dogs. Oh my brothers and sisters, that is nearly 100 Americans per day that are bitten badly enough to need a surgeon to sew them back together. The statistics kept by the CDC are sketchy at best as to the breed of dog responsible, though large breeds tend to do more damage than small ones, for obvious reasons.
The former of the two rules that I have broken relate to other countries. In 1991, the United Kingdom banned the breed of pit bulls. Surprising to most involved in the ban, however, the number and severity of dog bite statistics did not decline... something found in other places with the similar bans. Fewer pit bulls it seems, despite being responsible for their share of attacks, does not translate into lower bite statistics.
But now for the fear...
It seems that when a pit bull attacks a someone somewhere in America, it triggers similar attacks across the country. A rational person would conclude that this is related to the way in which the news is reported. An American, however, would conclude that it is time once again for pit bulls to be feared. In this case my friends, it is hard to blame the irrational American as their news outlets show the most horrible violence imaginable. They do this in a bid to excite the most emotion possible, lest they may run the largest number of commercials and still keep their viewers.
Yes it is true my friends, that since man domesticated the wolf, 10's or possibly 100's of thousands of years ago, mankind has received more than its due share of bites. As a species, we will continue to be bitten more I'm sure, but that is the cost of domesticating animals... particularly large animals with sharp teeth. Unfortunately for Americans, the only way to reduce (or prevent) dog bites is through common sense. But I, your humble narrator will present these simple rules for keeping dog bites out of your life and out of the newspapers, should you own a large dog.
- Avoid dogs owned by assholes. People who are assholes train their dogs to be assholes.
- If you are an asshole, keep goldfish instead of dogs.
- Kids and large dog breeds don't mix... ever.
- If you own a pit bull or other large breed, muzzle it in public.
- Do not enter the chained radius of a large chained dog. It's owner is an asshole.
That is all!
Keep safe my brothers and sisters,
Sir Robyn
References:
- The CDC fears Pit Bulls - http://www.cdc.gov/HomeandRecreationalSafety/Dog-Bites/biteprevention.html
- Christians fear pit bulls??? - http://pit-bulls.christianfunfair.org/attacks.htm
